A Bible story inspired by church camp dramas:
Luke 8 (RCV, Revised Camp Version)
Behold, there came a man named Jairus who, unaccustomed to wearing long biblical robes, fell at the feet of the Jesus the Nazarene. Jairus, full of faith, besought him to come to his house.
“My daughter is dying,” said the eleven-year-old Jairus.
But as the Nazarene passed through the crowd, they thronged him and hurled all manner of insults against him:
“Wait a minute! I didn’t know Jesus wore glasses!”
“He didn’t—glasses won’t even be invented for another thousand years!”
“Hey, Jesus, where’d ya get that beard?”
For indeed, the uncomely beard had been created hastily from a heap of cornsilks, the same which had been discarded in the camp kitchen.
And great was their unbelief.
Nevertheless, the Nazarene took Jairus’s daughter (another eleven-year-old boy) by the hand and said, “She is not dead, but sleepeth.” And the child sat up. Then Jesus commanded a woman nearby to give the maiden something to eat.
But as the woman reached for the plate of unleavened bread (which is called in Aramaic, “pretzels”), a great wave of alarm overshadowed her countenance. For the table was empty. She looked in vain for the plate. Then she was heard to cry out, “The food is gone! Where is the prop boy?”
The Nazarene soothed the woman, saying, “Uh . . . he is not dead, but sleepeth?” But the woman was not soothed. Indeed, she suffered many things until her eyes fell upon a member of another team sitting in the third row. And as quick as lightning flasheth from east to west, she leapt into the crowd and snatched away from the lad a strange metal container (which is called in Aramaic, “Coca-Cola”) and brought it hither to the maiden to partake.
The child’s parents, yea all the company, were amazed.
The crowd was charged by the Nazarene to tell no one what was done that day. And the lad in the crowd demanded that someone be charged thirty-five copper coins for his Coca-Cola.
There are many other accounts worthy of being recorded in the Revised Camp Version of the Scriptures. Verily, verily I say unto you, were a decree to go out across the land, requesting similar testimonies, it would bring forth chronicles no man can number.